Author Archives: scott

Funeral Detour

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If you live in Alabama you’ll be aware of an odd relation between the weather and the grocery store.  For some reason, if there is the slightest possibility of snow (and by snow we mean any visible flakes, regardless of whether they ‘stick’ or not) you must rush to the grocery store to buy a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread.  It doesn’t matter if you are a dairy farmer on a no-carb diet — it’s manditory.  (I’ve often suspected the owners of grocery store chains of being in cahoots with the weathermen at local stations.)

Anyone who has lived as far from such stores as we do will know that when you go to town you have to get as much of your errands taken care of as possible.  If it takes 20-30 minutes to get to the nearest store you try to cut down on the number of trips you have to make to town.

So a few weeks ago they were forecasting snow, it also happened to be the day a funeral was being held for someone who had lived in our community.  My wife came in laughing about how many people she had seen in the grocery store buying their bread and milk.  All of the people she named had been to the funeral and on the way to the graveside service…half the funeral procession, including the preacher, had made a detour through the Piggly Wiggly!

Linux for the small church

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I have recently installed linux on my old laptop and I’m loving it.  I’m keeping Windows on my main computer until I finish writing my thesis, but from what I’ve seen Kubuntu (a type of linux) could easily replace windows and there is software for everthing I need to do.

Actually I reinstalled XP so I could dual boot it with Kubuntu.  The installation and updated of XP took much longer than Kubuntu and Kubuntu had all of the drivers I needed while I had to download them from Dell for the XP installation.

I simple distribution looks like a good idea for pastors, especially small churches.  I have set up a system that would do everything I need for the church at the cost of burning one CD.  There is a learning curve for linux, but as a solo pastor I’ve had to learn some basics about computers just to keep things running (my brother-in-law has been a helpful resource).  In other words if you have to learn how to do basic maintainence it doesn’t seem to really matter what system, you still have to read and figure out what your doing.  Furthermore,  I like the idea of open source  seems like it is very conducive to Churches or non-profit organizations.  Also, I’ve been impressed with Bible Time, a Bible study program that has a very intuitive interface compared to others I’ve used.

The neat thing is that several distributions have ‘live CDs’ that let you boot the system and try it out before actually installing it.

The delirious melons of Valentius

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I was reading Irenaeus’ ‘Against Heresies’ last night.  I’m in book one where Irenaeus lays out all the different gnostic beliefs, explaining in detail what they teach.  Not the most exciting reading, but it did have what has to be one of the funniest lines in the history of the Church’s writings, or at least during the Patristic period:

“But along with it there exists a power which I term a Gourd; and along with this Gourd there exists a power which again I term Utter-Emptiness. This Gourd and Emptiness, since they are one, produced (and yet did not simply produce, so as to be apart from themselves) a fruit, everywhere visible, eatable, and delicious, which fruit-language calls a Cucumber. Along with this Cucumber exists a power of the same essence, which again I call a Melon. These powers, the Gourd, Utter-Emptiness, the Cucumber, and the Melon, brought forth the remaining multitude of the delirious melons of Valentinus.” (Book I, ch XI)

 Anyway, in Book I Ch XXI, he mentions groups that initiates people through a ‘mystic rite’ of sexual acts followed by a baptism “Into the name of the unknown Father of the universe— into truth, the mother of all things—into Him who descended on Jesus—into union, and redemption, and communion with the powers.” What struck me in the passage was how the gnostic group’s dualistic view of body and soul was held with the worship of sex (as representing heavenly conjunctions) and the confusion of sexes as in the following passage where the son is to say :—“I am a vessel more precious than the female who formed you. If your mother is ignorant of her own descent, I know myself, and am aware whence I am, and I call upon the incorruptible Sophia, who is in the Father, and is the mother of your mother, who has no father, nor any male consort; but a female springing from a female formed you, while ignorant of her own mother, and imagining that she alone existed; but I call upon her mother.”

Looks like current challenges to orthodox views of the Holy Trinity, Baptism and our bodies aren’t so progressive after all.

Alabamian Test

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You might have seen this floating around in emails.  I’ve seen it a couple of times, but it’s pretty funny and very true.

20 Ways To Determine if you are a real Alabamian
1. You can properly pronounce Arab, Cahaba, Opelika, Sylacauga, Oneonta, and Eufaula.
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don’t have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.
6. You’ve seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes. (It’s about 5 minutes down the road)
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date .
13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist. lol
14. You aren’t surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.
15. A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.
16. You know everything goes better with Ranch Dressing.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. You actually get these jokes and are “fixin’ ” to send them to your friends.
19. You have used your heater and air-conditioner in the same day!
Finally:
You are 100% Alabamian if you have ever had this conversation:
20. “You wanna coke?” “Yeah.” “What kind?” “Dr Pepper”

Whoever came up with these was dead on. 

Country Preacher Wisdom

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 I met Dr. Tom Whatley, currently interim pastor at First Baptist Church in Tuscumbia,   this evening.  He made a great comment about country churches.  He said that when he was in seminary, when a nice Mayflower moving truck with professional movers  came to take a new graduate to a church he would tell everyone to pray for the new preacher, that he was in for a rough time.  When a young minister going to their first call was picked up with somebody in an old cattle trailer covered in hay and manure he would say don’t worry about him, he’s going to be alright.

Amen

Ordinary Time

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They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?”… Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.

Jesus’ work as Prophet, Priest and King is now continued on the earth by the power of the Holy Spirit in Christ’s Body, the Church. The Church is to proclaim the Gospel of the Prophet, She is a royal priesthood under the High Priest of Jesus and She is an Ambassador for Christ, Citizens of the Kingdom of God. The ministry of all the Baptized is the continuation of these offices as Christ’s Body to the World, so we pray in the Great Thanksgiving, “As this bread is Christ’s body for us, may we be Christ’s body to the world.” (Great Thanksgiving from the Book of Common Worship) As those charged with the prophetic task of proclaiming the Gospel, we share the story of Christ to the World and preach the mystery to the powers and principalities. As a royal priesthood we continually offer our sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. We intercede for the world around us. We remind the world of God’s Law. As servants of the King we live a life of obedience that is different from those around us. We work to build the imminent Kingdom of the prince of peace by doing the work Christ did, teaching, healing and serving. We walk in this life through prayer, scripture reading and corporate worship.

In addition to the ministry of all the Baptized, the Church is given the gift of leaders for her well being. Although the church has ordered Her ministry differently in various traditions, the basic ministry, roughly parallel to prophet, priest and king, is that of Word, Sacrament and Order.

Ministers are entrusted to guard the Revelation that was preached by the Apostles and handed down through the ages. Ministers are to proclaim the Gospel message in a way that is relevant to each age, though without adding to or taking away from the Words of Life. Ministers also administer the sacraments to God’s people. They distribute the gifts of God to His people in His name. Additionally, so that all things may be done “decently and in order,” the Church is given officers who keep order and discipline within the bounds of the community. The tasks of ministry are not merely human endeavors, for in proclaiming the gospel, in celebrating the sacraments and exercising the power of the keys it is Christ Himself who is ministering. Christ Himself speaks to the Church, is present in the covenant signs and in the decisions of rule. “Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God.” (I Peter 4:11) “The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a sharing in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a sharing in the body of Christ?” (I Corinthians 10:16) And in Matthew 18, Jesus teaches on Church discipline with the promise that “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

The Church’s foundational service to God is regular corporate worship on the Lord’s Day. In this gathering we again meet the risen Christ on our way, He shares again with us Scripture and is seen in the breaking of bread. The Church is wherever the presence of Christ is. It is the Living Word spoken by the Father and empowered by the Spirit that calls the Church into existence. “Wherever we see the word of God sincerely preached and heard, wherever we see the sacraments administered according to the institution of Christ”, in other words, we find the Church when Emmaus is relived. (Calvin’s Institutes, 4.1.9)

The Lord’s Supper is the defining aspect of Christian worship. Although the table is never separated from the pulpit, the acts of Taking, Blessing, Breaking and Giving order the Church’s Liturgy and gives shape to Her whole life. In the Eucharist we render our sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving, “Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.” (Hebrews 13:15) In the Feast of Holy Communion we are united with the Christ who is truly present and all who are baptized in His name. At the Lord’s Supper we “do this in remembrance of the Lord” who paid the sacrifice for us and called us into Covenant. This sacred meal brings time into eternity, we look back in remembrance of the Lord’s earthly life, and we share union with Christ in the present and look forward to the future “when we shall feast with Him in glory.” (Great Thanksgiving from the Book of Common Worship)

This brings us back to Advent when we remember and long for our coming Savior. The Christian life is about what Christ has done and continues to do in and through us. Christ continually forms us through the gifts of the Church. He calls us deeper into union with Him through His Covenant. As we are gathered into Christ, we are taken into the whole of the Holy Trinity. The part we play is small. It is not passive, it is prayer, hope, rest, study, eat, and work. But it is God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit who creates, redeems and sanctifies us. We are brought into this Life simply by receiving this amazing Grace through an active faith, which itself is a gracious gift from the One who saves.