Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (Romans 12:9 ESV)
One of the things Paul tells us about genuine love is that it “abhors evil”. If you genuinely love someone, you will despise whatever would be against their best interest. You will hate whatever is damaging or destructive to them, including sin and it’s harmful impact. And you will hold fast to that which is good.
This means that love shows discernment. Genuine love is willing to look at somebody and love them and make a distinction between evil and good. It’s appropriate that Paul shows us this is what love looks like because we live in a time where many people believe that saying anyone is wrong is hateful. We’re at a point where we consider any disagreement to be offensive. But Paul reminds us that there is a distinction. You can love somebody, but recognize that something they do is evil. While loving them you can hate they self-destructive evil that they do, precisely because it harms the one you love. Because I love someone, I will hate their substance abuse that leads to their destruction. Love makes distinguishes between what is a good thing to do and what is a bad thing to do, and love promotes the good that benefits them and hates the evil that harms. If I love someone, I will hate what is not in their best interests. I will hate anything in them that keeps them separated from God.
Genuine love also holds fast to that which is good. Just as we can deceive ourselves by saying love doesn’t contradict someone or oppose them, we can also convince ourselves that we are loving someone, even when we’re not doing good for them. We can selfishly say, “I’m doing this out of love for another person”, but keep secrets from them, not share the truth with them or act out of selfish fear or pride.
Love is shown in its attitude towards good and evil. Yet love must not be mere of words or sentiments. There was a time that I would say, “We don’t need to think about love as a feeling, we only need to think about love as what we do for others – acts of our will.” But I’ve been corrected in this. While love is more than a feeling, shown in deeds and acts of the will, it is not less than genuine affection for others. That’s what he says here, “Love one another with brotherly affection.” (Romans 12:10) So there is a sense of I have a deep caring for somebody. It’s not just I do good things, and however I feel about them doesn’t matter, because Paul tells us our new attitude towards one another needs to be a strong, warm affection for each other. It is not mere acts, but also how we feel.
It’s interesting the term he used. You might know that Greek has different words for different types of love. English just uses “love” for everything so I can “love” bacon and I can “love” my wife. We use the same word for both things when we mean two different things. The word used here is storge. It is the love of a mother for her child and a child for the mother. We need to catch how radical this is, because, what he is saying is our love for fellow disciples is the love of a new family.
Brothers and sisters in Christ now need to have that affection for one another. Of course, you want to have a higher priority for those in your household. But at the same time, your love for the people sitting in the pew beside you should be well beyond just somebody that you share a hobby with. Your love for those whom you have promised to share in the spiritual formation of their children at their baptism as you’ve entered a covenant with them should be a stronger love than fraternity brothers, or fellow members of Rotary. He’s taking family affection and showing that this is the love you need to have for one another. And not just in deeds and acts, but in your attitude – in your heart and in your feelings. Do you honor your fellow disciples? Do you recognize that there are bonds there that are stronger than you share with anyone else?